All right! Wonderful! Ladies and gentlemen, give it up one more time for Big! Daddy! Kane!
	*cheers*
	Awesome. Okay, up next, a real treat for everybody, a group who needs no introduction, Dull Rhymes Chain'd!
	Whooooooooooooooo!
	Yo, yo, yo! Let's tear it up, y'all...but before we do, lemme hear it for my boy, on the ones and twos, Romancin' the wheels of steel like no other man can, straight outta London, give it up for the consumptive beats of DJ TB himself, Johnny Keats!
	Check, baby, check, baby, one two three! Check, baby, check, baby, one! *scratches*
	*Goes nuclear*
	Okay then, let's start this party All the girls in the place scream: "Oh lawdy!" Let's make it naughty Ain't no need for Bacardi Bitches put 'em on the glass at the sight of Tom Hardy!
	Shriiiiiiiiek
	But enough about me; what about you? You're trapped by your Fate like a fly in glue Life ain't what you make it So don't try to fake it Everything sucks, you die; there's nothing to do My rhymes are depressimal Your hope: infintessimal Drab and grim 'til you die The minutes tick by Grouped in seconds sexagessimal
	A beautiful woman like Eustachia Vye She's the Eve of man's destruction Don't go near; don't look her in the eye Love's just the start of decay and corruption And ladies don't you trust no man They won't love you like your own sweet mama willz Wine you, dine you, rape you, and leave you Don't end up like that Girl of the d'Urbervilles Break it down, Johnny!
	*Hellacious breakbeats*
	Wellllll, you know I'm a Naturalist My fiction's the factualest I gots much impact-u-ist And all the other emmcees Know I'm the best there is And it's okay, to be distressed I know that you can't pass my test You been owned by the best But don't be depressed Your girlie's goin' home with me And then she's gettin' undressed
	So take your little self along home, Porky And try not to read too much Maxim Gorki PEACE!
	Oh hell yes! Give it up! Give it up! There's tshirts and copies of their new CD, Heartsblood on a Wedding Dress ~or~ Morrissey Ain't Shit, available at the back. Give it up one more time!
	*Blows the fuck up*
	...
	...
	I... I want to die...
	That can be arranged. Let's get outta here, dawgs.
	A'ight. I ain't seen Karl in a while tho...
	Wild cheers
	Wild cheers
	Wild cheers
	All right folks, next up is... Marxy Marx and the Funky Bunch!
	My name is Karl Marx And you know I'm the man So many girlies on my tip Buy condoms on a Five-Year Plan . . .
fin
Mad props to Christian W.
ARKIVZ