All right! Wonderful! Ladies and gentlemen, give it up one more time for Big! Daddy! Kane!
Awesome. Okay, up next, a real treat for everybody, a group who needs no introduction, Dull Rhymes Chain'd!
Yo, yo, yo! Let's tear it up, y'all...but before we do, lemme hear it for my boy, on the ones and twos, Romancin' the wheels of steel like no other man can, straight outta London, give it up for the consumptive beats of DJ TB himself, Johnny Keats!
Check, baby, check, baby, one two three!
Check, baby, check, baby, one!

*Goes nuclear*
Okay then, let's start this party
All the girls in the place scream: "Oh lawdy!"
Let's make it naughty
Ain't no need for Bacardi
Bitches put 'em on the glass at the sight of Tom Hardy!
But enough about me; what about you?
You're trapped by your Fate like a fly in glue
Life ain't what you make it
So don't try to fake it
Everything sucks, you die; there's nothing to do

My rhymes are depressimal
Your hope: infintessimal
Drab and grim 'til you die
The minutes tick by
Grouped in seconds sexagessimal
A beautiful woman like Eustachia Vye
She's the Eve of man's destruction
Don't go near; don't look her in the eye
Love's just the start of decay and corruption

And ladies don't you trust no man
They won't love you like your own sweet mama willz
Wine you, dine you, rape you, and leave you
Don't end up like that Girl of the d'Urbervilles

Break it down, Johnny!
*Hellacious breakbeats*
Wellllll, you know I'm a Naturalist
My fiction's the factualest
I gots much impact-u-ist
And all the other emmcees
Know I'm the best there is

And it's okay, to be distressed
I know that you can't pass my test
You been owned by the best
But don't be depressed
Your girlie's goin' home with me
And then she's gettin' undressed
So take your little self along home, Porky
And try not to read too much Maxim Gorki

Oh hell yes! Give it up! Give it up! There's tshirts and copies of their new CD, Heartsblood on a Wedding Dress ~or~ Morrissey Ain't Shit, available at the back. Give it up one more time!
*Blows the fuck up*
I... I want to die...
That can be arranged. Let's get outta here, dawgs.
A'ight. I ain't seen Karl in a while tho...
Wild cheers
Wild cheers
Wild cheers
All right folks, next up is... Marxy Marx and the Funky Bunch!
My name is Karl Marx
And you know I'm the man
So many girlies on my tip
Buy condoms on a Five-Year Plan
Mad props to Christian W.